How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as my hairs on the rug.

My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have made a puddle!

I sound the alarm! Postman come to kill us all! Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I am the Kali Monster. I strike fear into the hearts of bunnies.

Look in my eyes and deny it. No human loves you as much as I.

I love my master. Thus, I perfume myself with this rotting squirrel.

Tosh's ability to sleep all day is unsurpassed by anyone.

My owner's mood is romantic. I lie near their feet. I fart loudly.

A long-buried biscuit dissolves finally into the dirt. Goodbye.

As the food bin nears emptiness, a ghostly worry fills the kitchen.

I am your best friend. Now. Always. Especially when you are eating.

I lie belly-up in the sun, happier than you will ever be.

The beeping outside causes alarm and hysterics. Construction sucks.

The living room floor is littered with monkey parts. Gorillas taste good.

Napping beside the fire, although risky, can be a subtle pleasure.

Static in my fur. It's shocking to inform you of our winter woes.

A cloud of dust rises from the garden; the bunny-death counter clicks.

1-17 of 17 matching records

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